It’s Valentine’s Day very soon, so I’d thought I’d share a poem I wrote back in the days when I was predominantly a PHP developer. Enjoy!
This is an ode
to PHP
To tell of how much
I truly love thee
Others may cry out
At the confusion you bring
But who cares if it’s null
Or in fact an empty string?
At the end of the day
PHP you’re my hero
Who else would read ‘hello’
And equate it to zero?
Your hundreds of functions
Are not consistently named
But who wants a language
That is so dully constrained?
The order of arguments
Is never easy to guess
And I think for some coders
Is the cause of much stress
You build your arrays
So inefficiently
You can quickly run out
Of all your memory
But none of that matters
As my love is just blind
All your quirks and foibles
I really don’t mind
When problems occur
You will never be boring
Where others would halt
You just issue a warning
Don’t listen to the rumours
That I am learning C
There can never be another
Programming language for me
PHP you’re the best
It’s true, it’s TRUE, it’s 1
I know that you’re not strongly typed
But that just wouldn’t be as fun
Nothing else compares
Nothing else will do
while ($this->worldHasPHP())
I will always love you
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